life list from other blog

So I created this list a couple of years ago and really wanted to see what I've been able to accomplish thus far. I have high expectations and ideas for my life...so not much has been accomplished, but it doesn't hurt to see what's actually been done:)

1.Zip line through Costa Rica

2. Start my own successful company

3. Really unusual, safe, economically friendly, economically fair, island vacation (Tahiti?)

4. Be able to speak in front of a large crowd all the time without shaking (seriously I don't know what that's all about)

5. Feel comfortable with myself

6. Sky diving

7. Read a few really great novels ALL THE WAY THROUGH

8. Purchase a house in my area that actually has land

9. Purchase and live in a house someplace with perfect weather.

10. Figure out what in the world God wants me to do with my life

11. Apply to another graduate school program

12. Paris

13. south of France

14. go back to Spain ( I LOVE Spain!)

15. Do volunteer type work as my career and get paid adequately for it

16. be able to spell adequate correctly the first time!

17. have cute kids

18. have healthy (mentally and physically) kids

19. find ou what I'm good at

20. Jet ski

21. Sail a boat solo...

22. have a career that I feel like waking up to every morning.

23. Use my psych degree

24. Stay in the big towers of the Atlantis hotel (I stayed in the smaller less expensive ones, now I have a new goal!)

25. Have an exciting and fulfilling 25th year on earth!

26. Join a dance class

27. WRite a book

Don't want to loose this one...

This post is about 2 weeks late, but still necessary in my eyes. My grandfather passed away about 2 wks ago and I am so grateful that I was able to see him before. TGF Jewish Holidays... I would not say we were buddy buddy close, but we did talk and share special times. I remember going into his garage and asking 101 questions during his soaps and he never batted an eye or acted as if I was in his way. He was always very low key and made his grandchildren feel special. During his service, I realized that he is the reason why I have so many "careers" and am not willing to take random days off of work. He was such a hard worker and would be working whenever you saw him. besides the fact that staying busy kept him out of the crazy house with 9 children + grandchildren, he really enjoyed and took pride in his work. He could find the oldest most tattered piece of junk and turn it into something with hundreds. I learned during his service that he worked a second job besides his business when my mother was a child. I always wondered how my grandparents supported 9 children. Through reflections in the past couple of weeks I've learned so much about myself and where my personality and tendencies developed. Besides the incredible love of ice cream that kills my stomach and pimples my face, I inherited a calmness about me. I also have a quiet anger that comes out at the wrong times. I am a hard worker and have 2 1/2 jobs for the joy of working and nothing more- besides the mortgage of course. I am a flirt and a tease, something I didn't recognize in him until after my grandmother passed (they were separated for about 7 years before she passed 6 years ago). I hide my feelings and excitement, but I do get very emotional and burst with enjoyment over little things- all on the inside of course. I don't care about the small stuff, but I complain.
These are all things that I noticed I collected form him. They are staples to my personality, especially that ice cream obsession. I love and appreciate them and will miss my grandfather a great deal. I know he is in a better place not dealing with the pain of failing organs, but it's still difficult to know that he's gone with his garage and his soaps..."I'll rest when I die"...rest on...
Love you....

Can't give much context to it....but here it is, from my old blog

Why do I let you tug at my mind?
How can I keep it all so straight
Intruding and falling back
Fill me with life
Then rip it away
Filling with excitement
When I sense you are near
Then brim with disappointed
as you whisk past
I bottle the thoughts
Keep them tight within
Tossing them out freely
Whenever you have a need
Why do I let you fight with my feelings?
Feelings that I should be able
To share when I command
But allow you to come though
And take that power for your own
Surrounding their every move
Attacking...
Then withdrawing
How can I continue this way?
Continue to let you control
What used to be so important in my life
I let you start
I let you continue
I just can't let it go
But, why do I let you?

Here's another one of those "contextless" pieces...
Thoughts swirling around my head
They just won't leave
Keeps me up at night
Keeps me from enjoying life
Thoughts of coulda woulda shoulda
Interfere with inklings of can't won't move on
Like being caught jumping at a sky dive
need to jump
but just don't want to
need to jump
but unsure of what's below
need to jump
knowing only joy will come from it
but just can't yet...
Thoughts swirling that just won't leave

Blogging

Since blogging is the new soapbox, I decided to join. I actually have another very private venting blog somewhere on cyberspace...I am going to use this one for something a little different. Not so sure what that is at the moment, but I feel I should have something that I can actually share with people.
This is one of the only places that people can voice their opinions and talk about themselves without tons of ridicule. I think that's what I plan to do...
I will also cut and paste some of my acceptable blogs here just in case the other site goes shuts down and years of impeccable ranting are lost.
I'm amazed by people who have the time to thoughtfully post daily. That is not who I am...not at all. So it is what it is..it's my blog...my time to talk about myself :)